I feel like Its been months since i organised my thoughts. Its been 3 years since I organised my flat, I’m not joking it is a bomb site. The knowledge of being a lazy person, not being able to invite people over, dreading going home and feeling like nobody really knows what I’m like, have effected my mental well being.
My first brief this semester is about rituals, routines, religion and self. I’m not a spiritual or religious person. And over the last few years, I have noticed that I don’t really know what I like anymore, what my opinions are.
I started to think about aspects of spirituality/religion that I have adopted in my own way. I thought about rituals and routines that i take on and why i do them. The thing that I kept coming back to was shrines, and alters. Because although I don’t tidy, or organize, I likened some of the arrangements of mess in my flat to the composition of shrines. I also thought about some of the private ways I deal with situations. I lost somebody, I’m not over it, I don’t think people do get over it, but there are ways I remind myself about him. And there are ways that I pretend to communicate with him. Let me reiterate I am not spiritual, I just sometimes need to use my imagination to make the real world easier to cope with.
I don’t know yet what I will make as a final piece, but just now I’m enjoying processing my emotions through my uni work.